#5 in your programs. #1 in your hearts.

As the weather has turned, so have things in my life.

Recently, I have a close friend who found himself on the wrong side of the law. He is now looking at ten years or more for his actions. Left behind is a bag of shit that he left other people to carry. He was greedy and selfish and the people who are paying the price are the people who actually cared about this kid. I feel bad that he is about to lose a major chunk of his life and stare at four walls all day – but we all make choices in life.

On Christmas Eve, a friend of mine and college lacrosse teammate passed away.  This is a 36 year old who recently got married and by all definitions was in great health. He went home for the holidays in MA, took a nap and never woke up. And no one knew until this week – but his wife is twelve weeks pregnant. Today was the funeral and the whole thing felt surreal. Like it wasn’t really happening. That there was no way my friend was inside that casket. I don’t know what the point of this post is.  Just that I had to face some hard truths today. Truths about my worries and fears. Financial concerns and producing/writing a hit film/book. They always seem so trivial when put into perspective. My heart ached for his family and his wife… and his unborn child. I felt utterly useless and like I was a tourist at this funeral. I would go home. I would move on with life. And this is something they will have to deal with everyday. And in nine months a baby will be born without a father. And their struggle could just be beginning.

He wore #5.  But right now he is #1 in my heart, along with his family and all my other friends touched by this tragedy.